TAKEAWAY DOODLES

People are requesting doodles on their takeaway boxes, with surprising results. I'd be scared that the surly recipient of my order would decide to smear his or her own bodily excretions on my food rather than getting arty.

What's the one thing that you really look for in a female, think about it, yep, getting warm, it's a smile that can light up a dark room and make you feel special. You know i'm right, eh!? Aren't i?

Pregnancy is a wonderful time for all involved, a chance for the would-be mother to feel her child growing inside her and the proud father to set up the nest. And of course there are those 'special' photos. Oh dear!

Ready for some cats with Nick Cage's face shooped on to them? Yeah, me too. Despite a laundry list of some pretty-dammed god-awful career decisions, the intenet really does love Nick Cage. Perhaps a little too much...

What's more awesome than party girls who drink beer? Party girls who shotgun beer! Watch these beauties suck down a load.

In the not too distant future there'll be no 'nerds' or 'geeks, all of these titles will be a thing of the past as everyone will have a cute cyborg who'll love you enough to put up with your W.O.W account AND make you a sammich.

WARNING: Only look at these pictures if you fully understand the fact that once seen you will never be able to look at any cute celeb (of in fact any girl) ever again without the realisation that without teeth they look as scary as f#ck!

Stock images are the best, not because they offer royalty-free photos, but because they allow you to misinterpret what's happening into something like this collection of people, who are meant to be coughing but look like they're sucking invisible penises.

Sometimes our base animal instincts rise up out of nowhere and we behave like dogs, sniffing around another canine's rear quarters, only humans are so much more evolved, so we just stare wide-eyed and drool.

Disclaimer: We cannot guarantee that the following females are bone-fide geeks, but we can assure you they are cuties using stripped-down computers, or is it the other way around? Either way it's a combination that may prove too much for some of you?

So all you are doing is trying to take a nice ordinary, everyday picture of your friends and before you know it some major celebrity is trying to get in on the action by goofing off in the background and photobombing you. Pfft.