TAKEAWAY DOODLES

People are requesting doodles on their takeaway boxes, with surprising results. I'd be scared that the surly recipient of my order would decide to smear his or her own bodily excretions on my food rather than getting arty.

It's not true when people say you have to get ahead in life to enjoy all it's rich rewards, sometimes it's waay better to be the one 'behind', especially when it comes to cute chicks - Aint life a peach!

The workplace is the perfect place to let loose a little bit of that rage inside you, but only in note form. We've all been wound up by those disappearing drinks and stolen mice. So use words & not bullets to hit back.

Prepare to witness some seriously hardcore work safety code violations that will get you reaching for a hardhat and staring in wonder at the genius that went into thinking that this was a safe way to perform a task. Epic.

In a quest to boldly go where no chick has gone before, today's cuties will go to any extreme to create the perfect photograph worthy of any MySpace & Facebook profile - It's the most 'safe' fun you can have with your clothes off!?

If you have mastered the art of photobombing then you might be ready for a new challenge. The skill to master is to put yourself in 'front' of the subject matter, rather than behind. It's a hard skill to master!

So with the London looters safely back in their homes and normality restored it's time to look back and try to laugh. With all that free shopping they did it's time to do some 'shopping' of our own :)

Just remember, you will never give less of a f#ck than when you are a child. Kids are like little rock-stars who don't need drugs and alcohol when they trash the place and defecate on themselves, it's just who they are - Be afraid.

Nature's at it's best when there are vistas in the landscape that take your breath away, all the best views (& girls) have some shapely hills or magnificent mountains with superb peaks you stare at for hours. It's true.

Sometimes it's difficult to make a differentiation between girls in swimwear or underwear, but it's never any real problem for the males of the species because we like looking at them wearing both - So it's a win-win situation.

I'd put my 'chen' on her 'bund'. I honestly don't even know what that was supposed to mean. I think it was just meant to sound vaguely sexual. Yep. I want to do vaguely sexual things to this woman.