Just Keira Knightley

She might not be the most curvaceous of actresses but there's definitely something about her. Maybe it's the posh British accent or maybe it's just her willingness to get all dressed up as a pirate. Who knows?

Cats aren't always evil, but when they are, they don't pull any punches. Whether it's pooping in your shoes, nesting in your briefcase or just shredding the toilet paper, they can be complete and total b#stards. You love them, but also fear them.

You meet a different class of female at conventions. It breaks the ice about conversation starters - you already know they are into the same thing you are. Genius.

Ok, so lets be honest here, any girl with freckles instantly adopts a special sort of 'girl-next-door' charm, add to that the fact she is already a cute looking celeb and you are pretty much onto a winner.

"To have a good time - gooood time!" - Who the hell wrote that, obviously a 40yr old virgin who had No idea what they were singing about and probably never will.

End of finals sorority parties are guaranteed to have lots of booze, lots of girls in their underwear and lots of outrageous behaviour. Sounds like great fun, so where the hell is my invite?

Do you wake up every morning strugling with a good excuse not to go into the workplace? Sure, your work probably sucks, but count yourself very lucky. Whatever it is you do for a living, there's no way it's as bad as any of these. Tragic.

Obligatory NOMs all round, I could probably manage 2 or 3 with some fried onions. But after that I would've had my fill and I'd probably move on to a nice tasty dessert of chocolate cheese cat. Then maybe some bees and biscuits.

What if Marvel Superheroes sold out to corporate sponsors? Well, aside from Wolverine making enough dough to coat his adamantium skeleton in a blinging diamonds, they would probably all look like this...

http://www.slackernetwork.com/Stunningly-Surreal-Portraits-With-Real-Animals-celeb1078.html

Ok, so here's a test that 95% of the male population on this planet are sure to fail. Try as hard as you can to stare into the various ladies eyes and don't let your eyes stray, even for a second.