I Have No Idea...

Pets are good at certain things, like licking their crotches, shedding on your clothes and getting under your feet before you manage to reach the lightswitch, but ask then to fix your car and they're utterly useless.

In this age of equality it's refreshing to see some men sticking to a time honored tradition and letting females join in. No idea why these women were let out of the kitchen anyway?

Whats better than a beach babe i hear you ask? Well, a well tanned hottie who not only looks awesome in a bikini, but can also ride a surfboard as good as any man - It's enough to make you bury your head in the sand and cry!

What's the one thing that you really look for in a female, think about it, yep, getting warm, it's a smile that can light up a dark room and make you feel special. You know i'm right, eh!? Aren't i?

If you want to put something awesome in your mouth, look no further than this gallery. It's got a tantalisingly tempting selection of top tips and serving suggestions to make your supper more succulent.

Will there ever be too many gorgeous girls on the planet? If you answered yes to that question shame on your family, you may leave planet Earth now. If you answered no, then you're in for a treat :)

So all you are doing is trying to take a nice ordinary, everyday picture of your friends and before you know it some major celebrity is trying to get in on the action by goofing off in the background and photobombing you. Pfft.

Ah, for those wonderful days of college life, where you devoted all of your time to study and the pursuit of knowledge to further your young mind. There was very little time for anything else really. Or was that in another reality?

Imagine if, instead of putting gushing quotes on movie posters, they had the one-star amazon reviews on instead.

This is the only way to neck a shot of your favourite tipple, be it Jack Daniels on bellybutton or cleavage tequila, so the next time you order at the bar, drink your drink from a lady's orifice!

Ladies & gentlemen, boys & girls, mums & dads, i present the planet's most elite photo-opportunist, bent on invading everyone's personal photographic moments. Legend!