World's First Live Lip-Dub Divorce Proposal

We've had the world's first lip-dub marriage proposal, so it's good to balance out all that saccharine bullshit with some reality. Tonya told her husband that they were going out to celebrate their anniversary, but instead of that he got a rather nasty surprise. LOL!

Humane Head-Ripping-Off Machine

What with lethal injections not being all that lethal, the state of Ohio has now got to consider other ways to kill off the alleged criminals who are on death row. The Onion have come up with their own solution.

What Girls Look At

You know, guys get a pretty bad rap for checking out chicks, but this experiment shows that girls are as bad as boys when it comes to scoping out the goods. Just remember, a camera never lies.

Frozen Babies

Did you get knocked up by a polar bear?

sponge bob's going to jail

Awesome Chainsaw Fight

Taken from the film Tiger On Beat which you need to know no more about than the fact that it has this badass chainsaw fight in it. It may be an incredibly dangerous thing to do, but it's what anyone who's seen a chainsaw has always secretly wanted to do.

Old Spice Man

This guy's cooler than The Fonz's fridge, just look at him. He's like what a pair Ray Bans would look like if they manifested themselves in human form. In fact I warn you to only watch this wearing sunglasses, otherwise you might damage your eyes from awesome.

50 Common Misquotations

So many misquotations out there that you could find yourself trying to be clever, only to find that you're actually quoting something no when ever said. So thank God for John Green and his trivia-rich weekly show that aims to right those wrongs.

Wife Drops Husband With Large Pan

This chick nails her husband with a large pan in the back of the head after she dares him to chug a beer.

Carotino Chaos

Carotino Chaos is a race against time to collect as many bottles of cooking oil as you possibly can. Grab the bottles from the shelves to destroy your competitor's profits!

Use the arrow keys on your keyboard to move your character around each of the levels.

Bottles of Carotino will appear in shops around the level. Collect these before the shop runs out of stock!

Collect your quota for a level to access a new, more challenging stage.